She acts like everything’s alright,
Nothing wrong within her world.
But there’s an ever-present feeling,
Inside of her, a gnawing pain,
A conscience-pricking, dark-gray guilt.
In vain she tries to shove it down
Into a box and lock it tight,
Only to see it free again.
But no one sees this war inside her,
This losing battle, this defeat.
All they see is that she’s pretty,
Has all that she could ever want.
Everything, that is, but freedom –
Freedom from this gnawing guilt.
She’s had enough of all this pretense;
Cannot feign a smile once more.
Because she’s done an awful deed,
Left her husband for another.
Left her old life for a new one;
Left a better for a worse.
This new life looked so promising,
So much richer, much more free –
But it was all a brutal lie,
And she’s now worse off than before,
Shackled in her misery.
And her new lover senses grief
and wraps his arm around her, saying,
“Darling, tell me, what is wrong?”
She pushes his embrace away
And cannot stand a moment longer,
And fails at all endeavors to
Hold back all her bottled tears
And like a storm, they start to fall.
“Darling, tell me, what’s the matter?”
Silence, save the bitter sobs,
Until at last the tempest clears
And gives her leave to speak her mind.
“I abandoned him. I must go back,”
She says, “I’m sorry, but I must.”
With hardly a goodbye, she leaves him –
Packs her bags and takes a plane
Across the country to her first love,
The man whom she so wrongly left;
Abandoned for another lover.
“Please, I’m here to say I’m sorry.
I’m at the airport. Pick me up.”
Two hours later, he arrives
And to her awe, he runs to her
And scoops her up and squeezes her
And won’t let go. Tears fall again –
Happy tears, tears of relief,
Of a forgiven heart, set free.
He kisses her upon the forehead,
Lightning sparks run down her spine.
“I was wrong to leave,” she said.
“If you don’t want me, I don’t blame you.”
He pulls her closer, whispering,
“No. I love you. You’re here to stay.
Forget your past, and I will too.
Let’s rejoice and celebrate,
For you were lost, but now you’re found.”