It’s been about 5 weeks into the semester… I think. It still feels so surreal that I’m going to this school, learning what I’m learning. It’s been good. It’s been hard too.
It’s such a relief to finally be working with my hands, making things. Seriously, I’m going to school to make things on Photoshop and Illustrator, to draw with real ink and calligraphy pens, to edit photos… seriously? This is the most fun homework I’ve ever had, and it’s been so life-giving. But despite how easy and effortless it may sound, there is definitely a lot of hard work involved. A LOT. It seems like there’s been hardly been time to rest. But even still, I try to squeeze some time in to get out into the nature areas on campus and just forget about all the work for a few minutes. Every day has been full of constantly rushing around and getting things done, basically. There have been a lot of late nights, even one all-nighter (my very first ever of my college life). I’ve been so overtired, and therefore emotional. I wish I could sleep more, but it’s hardly an option. But I need to do so for the sake of my health… balancing self-care and school is hard.
I’m growing accustomed to the size and culture of this school. I’ve made a few acquaintances and a few new friends, which I’ve slowly been getting to know better. I have nice professors. I’ve ran into a few people I know who attend this school. Overall, though, it’s been a bit lonely. Making friends isn’t the easiest thing. But then again, I have nothing to complain about. Maybe solitude is a blessing. In fact, I’d say it is… in this solitude I’ve had more time to think, more time to pray. And solitude is helpful when my schedule is so busy, I suppose. At least I can focus on my work. I go to class, then I study for a few hours, then I take a walk around campus and explore the little wooded trails, or climb the hill. I pray as I walk, I look around me and take everything in. There won’t be many days of green and color and sunlight left, since winter is coming soon—I need to enjoy it as much as I can. Eventually I go back to the main building and study some more, then I go home when the sun sets. I then study for the rest of the evening, then go to bed. Repeat. Though it’s kind of lonely, I still see my friends at church, and every so often we get together to hang out. And I have a feeling that pretty soon I’ll feel more at home at this school—I’ll probably get to know more people and have more solid friendships there. Hopefully. The LORD knows.
I’m so thankful that this college has a campus. The last one didn’t, which was okay, but I’m glad that I have somewhere to escape to when I am overwhelmed with all the work and relax. There’s a large hill a minute’s walk away from the main building. I’ve climbed it nearly every day, and just would sit there on the top, between two oak trees, and pray, enjoy the sun on my face, calm my mind, and observe people walking by far away on the path below. Behind me, beyond that hill, is a maple tree, with bright orange-ish pink leaves, and beyond that, a little wooded path. That path… it’s so beautiful and peaceful. Once when I was walking on that path I saw a doe. It stopped for about 2 seconds, looked at me, and then ran away. Beautiful.
It’s so natural for me to focus on the negative things and not the positive. But I have to tell myself that there are so many beautiful things in this season, and that I will not have eyes to see them if I keep looking back with nostalgia and wishing I were still in that season. Yes, that last season had wonderful things, but it had its hardships too. Every season does. That’s life. But that’s not what I will focus on. May I focus on the positive things. Soul, open your eyes to everything that God has for you! All the grace He has… you finally get to pursue your dream of getting into design… you get to make things. You get to learn new skills that you’ve always wanted to learn. It’s only 5 weeks in and you can do so much already. And you’re HERE… by God’s grace; by His provision. This is such a gift. So be thankful. And don’t complain about the loneliness, or the change that is hard to adjust to. Every dream comes with its difficulties, but that’s the way things are. You can handle it, just trust the LORD, and He will be there for you in it all. There. I needed that self-exhortation. I feel so thankful now… God placed me here. And He will lead me through this season, and He will care for me and provide, according to His will. And I, by His grace, will do my best to be faithful and diligent. He’s given me this opportunity, so may I run after it wholeheartedly.
I’m so thankful the weekend is here. Praise God! Happy weekend, everyone!